Hi lilnanny
She should be able to get a needs assessment from her local authority; her husband should also be able to get a carers assessment at the same time.
As she is in hospital then there should be a care plan in place before she is discharged.
You are right though to notice the impact on you; if we look at Your feelings when someone has cancer it can be easier to note how we feel and that can make it feel we are a bit more in control. Often we hear of cancer being referred to as a tsunami and it can be hard on us all. I know I was there and ended up doing a living with less stress course that helped me and in doing that made be a better help to my wife.
<<hugs>>
Steve
