After 18months of cancer and nursing mum for the last 6, she's now been in an end if life unit for 6 weeks and is declining rapidly. I have the common conflict of wanting the end to come for her and not wanting to lose her, plus the trauma of it all has been overwhelming for her and her children. I find visiting very hard as she's barely conscious and so thin and frail. I've now started to feel waves of panic as the reality of the whole situation keeps hitting me. It's like a terrible nightmare and I don't know how to cope with the imminent end.
I don't think any of us really know how to cope in this situation and yet somehow it seems we manage. I know my mum was very much like the glue that held us all together and things have not been so joined up since.
