Hi, I recently had the result of a CT scan explained to me. There is a tumour (or something as they say?) in my gall bladder. It is not known whether the tumor at this stage is malignant or benign. The surgeon gave me 3 options to consider :
- do nothing
- have a another scan in a few months time and see whether the tumor has grown
- have an operation to have my gallbladder removed and a small section of the liver and see what is exactly going on.
My initial reaction was to go with the third option, on the basis that if the tumour is cancerous, it can be removed. I've signed the consent form for the operation, but at the time I was in a state of shock so I'm not sure whether I've done the right thing.
My main worry is my mother - how do I tell her? She is 83 and had a mini-stroke a couple of years ago. My sister told me not to tell her - as she thought the bad news would kill her. I provide social care and support for her 1 day a week. Do I 'play down' the operation and tell her that the operation is a routine gall bladder removal operation? But if I don't tell her and go ahead with the operation, should I tell her I'm going on holiday for the operation? And what state would she be in if she sees me after the operation and I need a month's recovery? Is there any way I can talk to a counsellor about this, as my mental health is suffering? Is there any help I can get from Local Macmillan Support groups, for example to help with a shopping delivery for my mother once a week
Many thanks
Hi Tuesday11
a warm welcome to the group. So sorry to hear about all stress of the great unknown that you are going through.
Although I'm primarily on this forum while I support my husband with his stage 4 brain tumour journey, I can relate to where you are at having been in that position with a "passenger" that was found on my kidney in 2019. I had gone to have a "squishy" lump in stomach investigated. (It turned out to be an unstructured lipoma and totally innocent once it was evicted) When they did an MRI to investigate it, they found a tumour on my left kidney. I went through several weeks of hell til I had a biopsy of it which fortunately proved to be benign.
My mum is 82 and I was terrified to mention either the squishy lump or the kidney thing to her but then I reasoned that she knew me well enough that she would guess something was up and I came clean.
As to what option you choose, I'd discuss all 3 thoroughly with the consultant if you can. Write down all your questions/fears/concerns and take the notes to the appointment to help keep you on track. These conversations can feel so overwhelming and its easy to become railroaded down a particular path. There's no such thing as a silly question so ask them all!
This group is a safe and supportive space so please reach out here anytime. You're not alone, We're here for you.
It’s always good to talk so please remember that you can also call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
If you give the helpline a call they may be able to arrange some counselling for you or perhaps you could talk that option through with your GP. Your GP would also be a good starting point for getting some support with your mum should you need it.
For now I'm sending you lots of positive energy, love and light and hugs. Stay strong.
love n hugs
Wee Me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
