My older sister (42yo) had some breast lumps diagnosed as pre-cancerous, and had genetic testing that shows she has the CHEK-2 gene. She'll be having a lumpectomy, radiation, and possibly one or more profilacric mastectomy. This has all come very fast, and I find that I am feeling completely self-centered about all of this. Part of this is due to the fact that every time my sister tells me new information, she says that I need to know and get tested myself because I and my daughter (5yo) are at a much higher risk. She's 6 years older than I am and has often talked to me about her problems as if they are mine, probably as a coping mechanism. In the past, I could set that aside-- its easy to separate her marital problems, for example, from mine.
But right now I think my way of coping with her diagnosis is numbness, while I feel absolutely terrified about my own health, which is currently fine with no diagnosis. I feel selfish, even though I know that this is probably just my current way of coping with this information. But the hardest part is that I am dreading hearing from here and don't even want to reach out because I feel like she is telling me about me.
I wonder if anyone else has experienced anything like this? It would be helpful to get supportive comments that help me see a way through to feeling less guilty about feeling so me-focused. I know my sister's cancer is not about me, but only on a factual level at the moment.
Thanks in advance for your compassion.
hi Southpaw
There is a whole slew of talking that anyone would need to go through before genetic testing and of course only a 50-50 chance of you having the same issue as your sister.
On the one hand I am happy to hear that your sister is talking to you and sometimes being big sister can be an interesting relationship, I can see you recognize that though and glad you reached out on here.
It might help you to look at our pages on genetic testing and perhaps especially the item on genetic testing in children.
<<hugs>>
Steve
