Support my dad through cancer

Hi all - and big hugs to all of you. I'm reading this thread and I'm in tears. I recognise so many things that have been written here which makes me even more sad - to think that more people are going through this.
I'm afraid I have no advice as I have just started this journey with my sister who has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. 
To say I'm sad is an understatement. Sending strength and hugs to all! 

Gosh I am so sorry to hear this, just awful isnt it. We to as a family are really only just starting the process of being told my dads cancer is terminal, its just horrible and there is nothing I can say that will make you feel any better. All I can say is 'day by day' is the best way forward, try not to think too far ahead, focus on the now and supporting your sister as best you can, which I have no doubt you are doing. Sending so much love and cuddles your way x

Oh gosh, I am so sad to read this.. I dont know how you coped/are coping. Very brave is all I can say x Cancer... Its an absolute bastard isnt it (excuse my language but sometimes a swear word helps!). Its amazing isnt it, speaking to others who are going through or have been through this, I feel just a little better knowing you are not alone x

Hello, thank you all for posting your experience. It helps a lot to read through and relate to each other’s emotions and not feel alone. I’m struggling at the moment with facing seeing my dad because it’s too real so I isolate myself and then feel guilty for not going to see him for a few days.. it sounds awful of me, but the thought of having the strength to be strong for him make me sad and feel like I want to curl up in a ball. Don’t get me wrong I see him weekly but the guilt is so bad. Does anyone else feel this way sometimes?x

I can completely relate to what you're feeling, some days I feel a huge sense of avoidance where in my head its easier if I don't see him. Of course we know that on reality it isn't easier but in those moments I just want to withdraw from everything and pretend it isn't happening then I will feel guilty. I think at the moment, guilt is something we have to sit with and understand that we will feel it some days as a natural consequence to the situation. Try not to be hard on yourself, your feelings are completely valid. There is no right or wrong when it comes to all of this.

Take care x

Just had the same news about my dad last night, and have found myself here today, looking for the same answers and support. 

My dad's cancer has spread and they've given us a 4 year prognosis - who knows what that means.

It seems a very odd situation, knowing that death is approaching. We don’t all get that do we. Should we even do anything differently? I’m not sure what to do with this news.

I'm struggling too, with having a family of unemotional optimists when I just want to talk/process it all. There's a lot of "get on with things" and "he'll probably live for another 20 years". They also said this about it spreading, "it won't have spread, they'll cure it and he'll be back to normal". I really try to get on their level of thinking then it's just another big blow when there's bad news. It works better for me to process and prepare, and any good news/time is a bonus! It's sad I can't talk to them about how we're all feeling and support each other. I do feel sad! It doesn't mean I'm going to be a misery, but I'll have my moments! I wish I could share that with them.

Not sure how this forum works, but happy to share details if you want a friend in a similar position for support :) 

Hi, I hope you’re doing better now and I completely understand where you are coming from. 

My dad has just been diagnosed with terminal liver cancer and I also feel really helpless, because you can’t help and then you get angry because you shouldn’t be feeling bad as you’re not the one who has the illness. 

I also struggle a lot and feel very overwhelmed and not sure how to deal with it all. 

Im here if you ever need to talk.

kind regards, Annie 

Hello my mam recently has a battle with breast cancer and sadly lose but what we did to cheer her up was to watch her favourite movies and comedy shows together, talk about happy past times, have time little party's at my house to cheer her up. I hope this helps vicky x 

Hello. Big hugs first of all as I really relate to this right now. My darling dad too has sarcoma in his lungs and it is incurable and inoperable. My mum and sister are devastated and I find myself trying so hard to hold myself together to support them and trying to be strong for them. However I find myself breaking now as I haven’t got the time to process my own emotions it’s really tough. He’s in for chemo at the moment however has pulled his chemo out 6 times in the night so no idea when or if they’ll try chemo again. He’s extremely confused and doesn’t know why he’s in hospital etc. it is the hardest thing to watch and I bet you feel the same, it’s really difficult to act fine and act positive and live in the moment as you're also kind of grieving too even though he’s still with us. It’s like every day I’m waking up with such dread. I feel really agitated and angry too as I’m so restless with my mind racing 24/7 I just don’t know what to do with myself as nothing feels right if that makes any sense?? Anyway everyone deals so differently and every emotion you’re feeling is so normal. It’s truly a rollercoaster but just know me and this whole community are always here to chat, we understand and we will always listen. Sending lots of love to you and you’re family

Hello. Thanks all. Exactly, it's so hard to manage the different emotions that come with it all. And on top of this I have just found out my mum has bladder cancer. So it's extremely difficult now with both parents having it at the exact same time. I just don't know how people get through times like this with so much upset. I hope you are doing ok. x