Not allowing me to accompany to appointment

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Hey all, thankyou for letting me join, and I am sorry we are all here in these horrible situations.

My dad was diagnosed in April with primary cardiac lymphoma, stage 4, they were unsure of what type beyond that (some indications it was acting as one kind but then under microscope looked like another kind) it's really hard to get answers as it is such a rare/unknown. (Tumor was around 7cm x 6.5cm which in itself is crazy as he was having no symptoms, it was only found due to him going into hospital with pneumonia)

Anyway, he's just completed his chemo, he had a course of 6. We are now nearly 6 weeks from the last, he had a pet scan a few weeks ago and this week he has an appointment for the results. I want to go with him, firstly to support him, and secondly to make sure I get the facts of where we are at with all this. But he just keeps arguing that he will just be worried about me if I go with him.

I'm just wanting to know if anyone else has been through this, I feel like I need to go and I understand he's the patient and its his appointment but I just don't understand why he's so against it.

Anyway il stop rambling.

Any advice or thoughts welcome.

And thanks again for your time x

rainbowcloud4 over 2 years ago

I'm lucky in that respect my dad wants me with all be it everything falls on my shoulders as my mum and sister cant face the appointment.

could you get a macmillan nurse to call him and advise its best sonebody goes with him.

just try explain to him you want to support him and thats what your here for

Svg over 2 years ago in reply to rainbowcloud4

Hi,

Thanks for this.

My mum ran off ages ago far before all this and we don't hear from her so it's all on myself and my sister, so I understand where you are coming from.

I have told my dad I am going, found solutions to every problem he used as an excuse and now he appears to have accepted that I'm going.

Does anyone know if we are able to voice record appointments? I want to make sure we take in all the information, especially with this particular cancer being so rare, there is no real reading in similar cases I can do so want to make sure I understand as much as possible if that makes sense?

rainbowcloud4 over 2 years ago in reply to Svg

sorry to hear that.

If my mum had the choice nobody would know about dads cancer. It shard for them to accept help they are men afterall

im sure if you spoke with the doctor or consultant they will understand you will just have to see what they say

LA22 over 2 years ago in reply to Svg

Hi, always tricky when loved ones want to shield you but that often causes more pain. On the voice recording we do this with consultant and he is fine with this so hopefully your father's will be too. My husband was on watch and wait for Lymphoma for 6 months and didn't attend me to all the the appointments with him so he did this as a compromise or consultant would call me from office so that's another option.

Kiku over 2 years ago

Hi. I can empathise with you. My husband had bladder cancer and they removed the bladder, shortly after he had tongue cancer and they wanted to remove the tongue, but didn't. Now he has bowel cancer. He has always refused to allow me to accompany him to appointments saying he doesn't need me there. Maybe it's just a man thing, but after 15 years of being pushed away I still don't understand it and find it so hard to deal with.

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Not allowing me to accompany to appointment