I have an old friend who has recently been diagnosed with bowel cancer. It had spread to his kidney and he was waiting for an operation to remove the bowel cancer and the kidney. Whilst waiting he had two rounds of chemo, which seems to have shrunk the bowel tumour, but a ct scan has shown an area of concern on his gall bladder. He has been waiting this week for a decision by his medical team on when to operate.
I am so sad for him. His daughter has just graduated from uni and he has a wonderful partner. He retired during the second lockdown and was intending to sell his house and move near to the sea.
I am also personally devastated by the news. We were teenage sweethearts who lost touch in our twenties but he got back in touch when we were in our forties. For a while we toyed with the possibility of rekindling our romance but have long since settled for the lives we have. We talk mainly over email, have met up a handful of times and occasionally talk on the phone.
In my head I know there is no romance but there is a tiny part of my heart that would say yes immediately if he asked.
The news of his cancer just seems to get worse with each passing month and I am terrified of being without him. I cannot discuss my feelings with anyone else as he is totally unknown to friends and family.
Any words of wisdom would be gratefully received; he is usually the one I would go to for wisdom in situations like this.
Thank you for reading
Hi Acupoftea
Sorry to hear this about your friend, especially someone who has been something of a confidant to you. If we look at Your feelings when someone has cancer I am sure you will recognize a lot of how you feel. I know I find it helpful sometimes to be able to recognize my own emotions I can feel a bit more in control.
Often people on here talk about pre-grief and this blog has some tips on coping with that.
<<hugs>>
Steve
