Hi all, my Husband was diagnosed in 2020 with Pleural Mesothelioma, he was told he had about 14 months without Chemo and about 18 months with Chemo. We made the decision to go ahead with it and he had 6 cycles and for the next 18-19 months his health improved slightly but a few months ago he had a CT scan that showed the cancer had started progressing again and was this time offered Immunotherapy which after a long family chat he decided to give a try. After 3 cycles I just don’t feel as though it’s working as his health just seems on a decline. I don’t know how I can help him and I feel so useless, I have to work as well and feel so guilty that I have to leave him to go through this on his own. How do you all cope?
Hi LeaP666
The feeling of being useless is really very common with all of us caring for someone with cancer - if we look at Supporting a family member with cancer we can see how "normal" we are. In the meantime your husband is probably feeling really proud that you are able to go out to work.
I know sometimes when my wife was ill work actually helped to ground me - life was normal and I was in control. Until something went wrong and then I could no longer cope and was off work with stress.
I did a living with less stress course that really helped me, Taught me to appreciate each day and see positives when I could. The conscious breathing techniques are useful for coping with the occasional curve balls but also help to relax and get sleep when then mind decides it needs to solve all the problems when I go to bed.
When people not on our journey say "how do you cope?" my stock answer tends to be "when was I given a choice?".
Do post on here whenever, we make a great team and every new friend is very welcome.
<<hugs>>
Steve
