So to cut a long story short my mum has terminal cancer. She was given 6 months maximum to live at the end of April this year. I wanted to ask others in a similar situation what sort of care their family or friends received after the diagnosis. It feels like we were given the bad news, told there was no treatment, then just left the hospital appointment and have had no more contact from anyone other than a dietitian since. We met a nurse at that appointment who we were told was there to help us, and we have heard nothing from her. Is the onus on my mum to contact the nurse? Shouldn’t she at least be checking in with my mum to see if there’s anything they can do (obviously I know they can’t make her better, but some support would be nice). My mum is in her 80’s and fiercely independent, I think she hides from us if she’s in pain or not. I feel this is something she may be more open about with someone from the medical profession. I’m not trying to knock the nhs or anything, but I just feel a bit let down by all this and wondering whether I’m expecting too much? Thank you for reading this.
I'm sorry. When I had my initial diagnosis in the middle of Covid, I had to call the nurses to make contact, and if I needed anything. I wasn't terminal though. I suspect that unless you or your mother call them, they'll assume she doesn't need anything, or that she's going through her GP.
It also depends hugely on whereabouts you live. My mother in Surrey had proper follow-up contact with her breast cancer. Her sister had a terminal diagnosis in Devon last autumn and they couldn't get in contact with the nurses, even when she was acutely unwell before her final hospital/hospice admission. The whole of the NHS is struggling at the moment, but please try to make contact with someone just to alert them to what's happening, before she is in desperate need.
Hi, yes I did. She’s now being seen by the Supportive Care Team at the hospital, who have been really helpful. I just feel better knowing they’re keeping an eye on her. Thank you for checking up, that’s really thoughtful!
