My dad

  • 12 replies
  • 26 subscribers
  • 1716 views

My dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a year ago. He had several rounds of chemo and the cancer stopped growing which was amazing news. Chemo was stopped 6 months ago due to something in his blood being too low and the chemo doing more damage then good. Previous scans over this last 6 months have showed no change up until now.  All I get is 3rd hand information from my parents and I am  unsure that they even understand what they are being told. My dad saw the oncologist yesterday, the cancer has grown slightly, he had emergency bloods done yesterday, today he had to have  an emergency ultrasound scan and is awaiting an emergency CT. The oncologist has said he can't have chemo due to his bloods being too low and they are concerned it has spread to his liver or bones. I am devastated beyond belief. When my dad started with cancer something in his blood was 5000, it came down to 200 with chemo treatment, he is now above 5000 again. I don't know what this is and what it means other than its potentially not good news and we dont know next steps until the scan results come back. I am so confused with all this 3rd hand information. 

  • It's awful isn't it and I'm sorry you feel this too. Some days I just feel like screaming what about how I feel but then feel incredibly selfish for even thinking about myself. I remind myself I have to stay strong for them so try and pick myself back up and get on with it. I have found recently that I have started to feel anxious alot of the time and I'm not normally an anxious person. My dad was reminiscing yesterday and suddenly burst in to tears, my heart absolutely broke. I feel helpless because there is nothing I can do to help him. 

  • I feel the same MissBrightside. Its certainly is an emotional rollercoaster.