My dad

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My dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a year ago. He had several rounds of chemo and the cancer stopped growing which was amazing news. Chemo was stopped 6 months ago due to something in his blood being too low and the chemo doing more damage then good. Previous scans over this last 6 months have showed no change up until now.  All I get is 3rd hand information from my parents and I am  unsure that they even understand what they are being told. My dad saw the oncologist yesterday, the cancer has grown slightly, he had emergency bloods done yesterday, today he had to have  an emergency ultrasound scan and is awaiting an emergency CT. The oncologist has said he can't have chemo due to his bloods being too low and they are concerned it has spread to his liver or bones. I am devastated beyond belief. When my dad started with cancer something in his blood was 5000, it came down to 200 with chemo treatment, he is now above 5000 again. I don't know what this is and what it means other than its potentially not good news and we dont know next steps until the scan results come back. I am so confused with all this 3rd hand information. 

  • I completely understand how you feel. Radiotherapy worked to stop my dad's brain tumour growing but now it is growing again and Radiotherapy and chemotherapy aren't options. I'm getting third hand information from my parents and mum cries a lot. Dad isn't sleeping and is having panic attacks. We are hoping it is slow growing but have to wait on scans that are in 5-6 weeks. Such a long wait and a horrible nauseating limbo of imagining every worst case scenario. 

  • I am so sorry to hear what your family are going through. I got the dreaded news from my parents yesterday that the cancer has spread to my dad's liver. He has been told that chemo is not an option at all. I feel numb one minute then so angry the next. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster and can't get off. You wrote that your mum is crying alot and your dad is having panic attacks, but how are you coping with everything?

  • I am so sorry to hear this. Have they given any options for your dad? 

    Thank you for asking me how I'm coping. Nobody has really asked me that. I'm plodding along as I have a 7 month old baby that needs me and reminds me of all the good. But I need noise to distract me at night and don't like to be alone with my thoughts.  

    How are you? How are you coping? X

  • Hi Gracie. I can’t really help other than to say I totally understand how you feel. Similar situation for me - not 3rd hand but not much detail and it’s hard to understand what’s going on or what’s going to happen. It is horrible Weary

  • Children are a great distraction. Unfortunately at this point there are no treatments available. I cope by trying to keep busy all of the time, although I know I'm in total avoidance by doing this. My dad has an oncology appointment next Thursday which I'm dreading as he will get to know the extent of how the cancer has  spread. 

  • Hi Ditsyprint, It's horrible and frustrating not knowing. I hope you get the information you need Blush

  • I’m so sorry you’re going through this and the options are limited. I can relate as my dad is in a similar situation. Sending love and I hope you get some more information soon x

  • Thank you, as your in a similar situation, I am so very sorry you are going through this as well. It is tough, in fact it is shit. How are you dealing with it, I'm angry one minute, feeling fear the next, then just broken hearted the next. Some days are better than others but my day depends on how my mum and dad's days are going. If they are having an alright kind of day then my day goes OK too. If there not my day can become exhausting.

  • I know this was a reply to someone else but my goodness this is how I feel. If my mum picks up the phone and she's having a bad day then I get the brunt of it and my day is ruined. I feed off their mood xx

  • Sounds very similar! Some days I’m so angry at the world and just think how unfair it is, other days I can try and stay positive and remind myself that I can’t change the situation and then other days I just cry for ages. It’s so hard isn’t it, I try and distract my brain but I just never stop thinking about it