Dads terminal and I don’t know how to help

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My dad was diagnosed with Bowel cancer about 18 months ago, they removed his most of his bowel along with a lot of his liver and he now has a stoma They also found cancer in his lungs liver and lymph nodes. He’s been having chemo to try and reduce the size of the cancer and cure him. About two months ago we were told it was terminal. He’s been having chemo which hasn’t been working so they’re trying a new lot, but I’m really struggling to know how to help my dad and my mum. My dad is obviously struggling to come to terms with the fact that it is terminal is nothing really he can do. I have a 3 year old son too whom I’m trying to explain that grandad isn’t really going to get better. Dads sleeping a lot, liturally out of bed for a few hours a day, he’s not eating much at all either. Any ideas of how I can help both my mom and dad mentally. 
thanks in advance 

  • Hi 

    Sorry to hear about your dad and everything you have been through. Seeing anyone we love so ill is very hard - from what you have written it sounds like he is currently on active treatment even if it might not be a full cure and it is possible therefore that his tireness comes from that - of course like any treatment there is always a degree of anxiety as to how well it will work.

    My wife's cancer is incurable but we are lucky in that the second chemo they tried rendered her stable - and she has been that way for about 6 years now so we are living with cancer rather than anything else.

    What might help you is looking through Supporting a family member with cancer. I know I needed help to deal with my emotions to be the best support for my wife and son.

    <<hugs>>

    Steve

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  • Hi Steve,

    thank you very much for you reply and advise. It’s good to hear that even though someone is diagnosed as terminal there is a chance they can have a longer life, if that makes sense. I just keep seeing my dad get worse and think he’s going to leave us soon, but really hoping they will be able to holt the cancer so we can still have a few years together