My Dad has terminal cancer. It started as ampullary cancer last summer. He had a Whipple procedure in October but unfortunately the cancer has spread. He is 78 and getting more and more tired and never feels hungry. He is in his final round of GemCap chemo. He only really eats if someone takes him food or takes him out for lunch. He is good at eating breakfast because that is easy.
My sister and her new husband are moving in with him at the start of September. But we have a problem. My Dad's house is full. My sister needs him to clear 3 bedrooms and the dining room. He has been working with a decluttering lady but I don't he has given her the right message. My sister found drawers with a few beautiful folded things in them.
My Dad is now say that he doesn't need looking after yet (we think he does because he is finding everything very hard) but is looking forward to having them to stay. He also maintains he will need his furniture after they have moved out. I think he believes that he is going to get better.
How can we persuade him to get his house cleared to make space for them because if he doesn't they won't move in. I live far away and I am feeling very frustrated. My sister is extremely stressed and also about to get married so our Dad can be there.
Thank you
Hi Wizzy
Has your dad had a needs assessment and your sister a carers assessment? These are carried out by his local authority and a legal right. It can help it someone "official" is seen to be making the decision and seen to as a way of avoiding going in to a care home as they are very much focused on keeping people in their own home.
Getting married is often stressful and starting out married life back home with dad and caring for him is not without it's challenges too. Anyone in your situation is likely to feel frustrated too. Your dad may also be concerned about the impact on his daughters - I know my dad never really talked about his illness - until it could no longer be hidden - men what do we do to ourselves.
<<hugs>>
Steve
