Hard to believe mum won't be here soon

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I like some others haven't had the best relationship with my mum she has been sober now for 3-4 years but spent most of my life an aggressive drunk. However I remembered her before the drink too so I've always been torn and would say I love her but I dont like her. It been almost 8 weeks now since her incurable cancer diagnosis and she's been given only a few months to live shes mostly on pain relief I believe. 

Some days she seems confused like she doesn't quite understand the severity of it, and other times she's trying to plan her funeral. Mum also has bipolar and multiple personality disorders so it's hard to battle between the cancer and the mental illness.

I have family around me and I have my husband but I feel like I'm sort of stuck in a limbo while the world carries. My in laws plan holidays etc but I feel like I don't want to think of anything other than mum. Were finally getting on better than ever what I always wanted and it's horrible knowing it won't last forever. I'm not the best at talking about my feelings anyway 

So i thought I'd try this as everyone seems to be in the same boat. 

  • Hi and welcome to our community though sorry to hear about your mum.

    I can relate to your comment about getting on well, knowing that our time is limited does tend to focus our minds and help put things in to a perspective. I know my wife's cancer diagnosis and the struggles we have been through have really helped develop our relationship in to something much deeper but we also see quite often how cancer can tear relationships and even entire families apart.

    Something we have said to our son before if he had been particularly disruptive is around we love you but at the moment we do not like you very much, so can relate to that point too.

    I think you have done really well talking about your feelings, some people find type much easier than talk, certainly it has the advantage of having a delete key where we can try to make things clearer than we might always do when speaking.

    <<hugs>>

    Steve

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  • Thank you for your reply. It is nice to hear from others who have experience with diagnosis it can often feel like I am the only one going through it cancer has a way of making everything seem so dark so this site if reqlly good to know there's a community out there who is supportive