Dad- feeling out of the loop and a bit helpless

My dad has been receiving stage 4 cancer treatment on / off for a couple of years now which has been a rollercoaster. He is a very independent, proud man. He lives by himself, has a large friendship group for his age and is very positive- positive about treatment and never really complains or lets others help.

He has been off treatment for 6 months and had scan results yesterday to see if he’d be restarting treatment. I asked if I could attend with him but he insisted on going alone (as with all appointments) and the outcome wasn’t great. The cancer has spread and he will be restarting treatment with a definitive life expectancy. However I have learnt this all second hand through him which I imagine was a very difficult conversation and I’m not sure he knows all the details himself. I wish I was there to ask questions. I feel helpless and I know I can only be there and support him but I feel so out the loop. I have of questions which I feel are unanswered around treatment, life expectancy etc. 

Has anyone else experienced this?

Thank you. 

    1. I can't imagine how you must be feeling and just how helpless (?) I can only tell you what helped me when my son was diagnosed with Stage 4 of a different cancer almost out of the blue. He actually told me what he knew and could remember - being a bit bewildered himself. I resorted to speaking to a cancer nurse through the Macmillan helpline and told her all the facts I knew. She was able to fill in quite a few gaps without knowing my sons personal and medical details. It helped me to understand much more. I wish you all the best .x