Sister

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Hi, My sister has been diagnosed with incurable chest wall cancer after breast Cancer, immuno therapy has been ruled out and she starts more chemo next week. We have been told to think in months not years and I am finding it really difficult to deal with. She is only 44 and not only my sister but my best friend, I feel so hopeless and am really spiralling with it. She is the most caring person and would be so much better at helping the family than I can, I don't know how to handle all the emotions.

Songbird2022 over 2 years ago

I don’t have likely any words of comfort but I couldn’t scroll past without reaching out to say, I am sending you a hug and your in my mind. I hope you are ok xx

Red04 over 2 years ago in reply to Songbird2022

Thank you that's really nice of you x

Wren13 over 2 years ago

Hi there, this is my very first posting and I just want to say I am so very sorry for your sister and you and the rest of your family. It is such a devastatingly awful thing for you all to be going through and you are in my thoughts. I read your posting as it was headed “sister” and my sister has bowel cancer and I am struggling with it all and so tired of trying to be the voice of reason in the family when I don’t know what to say or do. Everything has been made a million times worse with all he Covid restrictions at the hospital and appointments visiting etc. when people going through such painful and distressing things should be able to have their families around them being supportive. If it’s any comfort at all, please know that nobody really knows how to deal with all the emotions, I certainly don’t!! Emotions change daily and all you can do is be there. I wish you and your sister the very best. XX

Red04 over 2 years ago in reply to Wren13

Thank you for your message, it means a lot. I keep dreaming they have found a miracle cure and then am hit with the reality again. i have looked into it more and apparently I am suffering with anticipatory grief, so griefing for the future we won't now have together. its so tough to try and be strong and my sister is doing the best out of us all! she's a true diamond. I really hope your sister gets better soon and message me if you ever need a rant!! x

Wren13 over 2 years ago in reply to Red04

Hi there, just checking in to ask how you and your sister are doing?

Dude who took my name over 2 years ago

Red, hug your sister and tell her how much you need her. I wrote an entire paragraph on my cancer and decided it didn't matter. You need her and just have to help her fight which includes researching clinical trials.

src60 over 2 years ago in reply to Dude who took my name

hi Red04 we had quite a good blog on anticipatory grief here on our community quite recently - https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-blogs/b/community_news/posts/coping-with-anticipatory-grief-when-you-re-supporting-someone-living-with-cancer

<<hugs>>

Steve

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