Dad with Limited Time

My dad has had kidney cancer for 6 years and has had chemo drug which has stabilised it. It then spread to his lung but it was tiny and never grew. Now out of nowhere he now has 7 tumours in his brain. I considered there isn’t a good outcome. We found out if he is selected for gamma knife treatment he only has one year with us, and if he isn’t, he has weeks. I don’t think anything can prepare me for either as I can’t accept I have limited time with my dad. I can’t accept he can’t see me walk down the aisle, be a grandfather or watch me pass my car practical test. But I also want to make the most of my time. Does anyone have any nice ways of dealing with this and even preparing for the end? Me and my family think practically but I do want to have nice ways that I can deal with all of this.

  • Hi

    Sorry to hear about your dad, i know how both myself and my wife lost out dads was quite challenging.

    One thing we found quite comforting was to spend time talking especially about how things were for them when they grew up. It was amazing to understand how life changed in a few years and how our childhoods were so different to theirs. 

    One of the things I have now hanging in our lounge is my parents wedding photo. To me that photo always said "home"

    <<hugs>>

    Steve

    Community Champion Badge

  • Hi Steve,

    thank you so much. So sorry to hear about yours and your wife’s dad. 

    I think no matter how much you prepare for it, it is still so horrible. It’s been two weeks now and it’s got a bit easier but I know I have to prepare. That’s lovely. 

    I found it hard to speak with my Dad about his life but I do get why. My dad has taught me so many lessons, I’m 26, and I still have so much to learn and it aches knowing he won’t be there for that.

    I am going to get a vase and put all the lessons or sayings he says so I can always look at it. And there is so much he wants to do which we are doing. We had a chat, me, my sister and my dad which was super hard but we are all so much stronger for it. There is one photo of my parents that I love, so hoping I can make a copy. I’ve also nabbed my dads jumper from when he worked in the police, he allowed me to take it but it’s my fave so I was taking it anyway! 

    thanks again Steve,

    molly