Mum with terminal cancer and she’s driving me nuts

HiOnTheMap welcome to the forum. That sounds pretty challenging for you and I;m wondering if it might help to talk with one of the Advisors at the Macmillan Line as they are good listeners and it might hep just to talk to someone. They are open everyday from 8am till 8pm 08088080000 . xxx

I am also finding it very difficult with a mum that has terminal cancer - its good to know i'm not alone with conflicting emotions, I love her but some of the things she says and does make me dislike her and then I dislike myself for feeling like that. Im struggling too x

 It’s difficult isn’t it.  My mother won’t be helped,  everything has to be completely on her terms, and she has to have total control over everything.  It’s nothing  new, she’s always had underlying mental health issues, but it makes helping her near impossible, even at times when she really needs help. We were never particularly close and my Father, who I was closer to growing up, died of Covid in 2020. I’m all she has now, as she’s estranged everyone else.  She has regular Carers and only wants to be at home.  I live a long way away and can only make occasional visits, but she regularly texts or FaceTimes - usually to complain about something/someone.  Her negativity has always got me down, and I constantly feel guilty even when rationally I know I shouldn’t be.  How do you help someone who won’t be helped ?  She’s has terminal bone metastases and is depressed & angry now that she has nothing to look forward to ( as she perceives).

I probably ought to seek Counselling.  What are your circumstances ?