Hello,
This is my first post as I thought reaching out in this group might be a help. My dad is suffering from prostate and bowel cancer, the bowel cancer now having spread into his lymphatic system.
He has just started his third cycle of chemotherapy and at the start of the year was given a life expectancy of 12-18 months.
Obviously I understand that is not set in stone - he is responding well to treatment and is extremely strong - but ever since he told me this my mindset has changed. I've been thinking a lot of 'what if's' regarding it being his last bday/christmas or are there things he wants to do before he gets too poorly etc.
But I've found the rest of my family (and his best friend) aren't letting themselves think these things or look ahead - they say I should do the same but I honestly don't know how. I also don't know if it's healthy to bury my head in the sand like that.
I feel very confused and like I'm the odd one out...
Hi SG84 and welcome to our community though as ever sorry to hear about your dad.
I do get the "what if" bit - when my wife was diagnosed and I had a young son to look after too - I did a lot of what if's - until I broke.
Then I got a space on a living with less stress course. They helped me realise I could add a whole lot more what it's - what if I crashed the car, what if I ended up in hospital, or fell of a cliff, or... because then who would look after my wife as well as my son. Instead they taught me to live more in the moment and enjoy each day as it came. Life does enjoy throwing the occasional curve ball and they also taught us conscious breathing - it is great for dealing with bad news but also good for general relaxation. Certainly do not think I could have done all that on my own but now I have those tools people look at me and call me inspirational and say things like how do you cope - well where was the choice.
Well done for coming here though and thank you for posting - you are definitely not at all an odd one out.
<<hugs>>
Steve
