My Nan was diagnosed with bowel and blood cancer (myeloma) in late 2020. She recently had bowel surgery to remove to bowel cancer however the blood cancer is causing so much pain and discomfort..
Nan has recently started chemo and on lots of medication which makes her almost bedbound she has no energy, lost almost over 4 stone.,before she was a very active lady out every day for walks, lunching with friends I’m finding it so difficult to see her so poorly and vulnerable..
I try my best to do everything for her such as taking her to appointments, chemo, doing her shopping help around the house when I can as well as holding down a full time job and I have chronic pain myself.
the chemo makes her feel so poorly she wants to stop it..iv found it hard to come to turns with that however I understand it’s her choice. I just feel everything falls on me - as there isn’t much family around.
i suffer from a huge feeling of guilt..like I should be doing more to support or help or make her feel better..however she doesn’t want anyone around more than 30 minutes as she is unable to socialise due to just wanting to get back into bed
Hi KyraHT
Sorry to hear about your nan and the impact all this is having on you. I can relate to the idea of chronic pain as I have ankylosing spondylitis. In our disability matters group at work we often discuss the issues chronic conditions cause when most HR systems only really cope with being sick or being well.
If we look at Your feelings when someone has cancer we can see quite a lot of things that impact on us a carers. One thing I had to learn the hard way was to make space to care for me, I came very close to burnout that really would not have helped anyone.
Her local authority can do a needs assessment for your nan and at the same time a carers assessment for you, hopefully this can bring you some support because it is easy to get in a position where everyone is ill.
<<hugs>>
Steve
