Hi there,
I'm new to this community but really glad I came across it, my aunt has just been diagnosed with secondary breast cancer, it came as a total shock and I am absolutely heartbroken there is only a few years between us so she is more like my sister. She met with her oncologist this week who told her it was in her bones and that there was nothing they could do except try to manage it. With an average life expectancy of 3-5 years I am terrified and feel sick at the thought of living in a world that she isn't part of. She has young children, they have already lived through this with her once before, I dont know what to say to her or them and I have no idea how to support her. I cant stop crying but feel so selfish because I can only think of how sad and angry I feel, I can't imagine what her and her husband and kids are feeling. Can someone give me even the teeniest bit of hope or give me advice on how to even start to process this.
First and foremost - you are not selfish, if we look at Your feelings when someone has cancer you will see how normal you are - we are all living in the most extraordinary of circumstances and often it is a bit of a wonder we function at all.
Average life expectancy is a rotten measure - who is this "average" anyway - and it is based on historical data and cancer treatments really are getting better all the time.
On the front of not knowing what to say it might be helpful to look at What to say to someone who has cancer - often the biggest thing though is to listen - a really useful skill that often is overlooked.
<<hugs>>
Steve
