I’m scared, worried, angry, hurt and confused.
My amazing dad is disappearing in front of our eyes. I know I need to be there for my mom and him and also my little brother but deep down I can’t be. I’m scared I don’t have long left, scared how to tell my 4 year old his grandad has gone. Worried I’m not being there enough, doing enough for everyone. Angry - why my dad?!? Why my family again?!? Hurt - I don’t want to loose him.
Im still at work, still being a mom, a wife, a friend, a daughter but deep down I don’t want to do any of this! I just want to sit with my mom and dad.
Why do we always feel so guilty when we are doing our best? Why does our best not feel good enough!
Hi Crobin28
Sorry to hear about your dad and the effect it is having on you and your family. Often we talk about a cancer diagnosis as a tsunami that sweeps over everyone in its path.
If we look at Supporting a family member with cancer, we can see all the feelings you talk about. If only we could wish cancer away life would be just great.
Often children cope better with loss than we might expect, I know in some ways I am terrible at this even as an adult because I had little experience of death before about 35. We do have a guide on Talking to children and teenagers that can be helpful,
When Janice, my wife, was really ill I know I found work rather comfortable in that there I felt I was in some kind of control. How effective I might have been is of course another question but the good news is that my boss was really understanding. The good news with my wife though is for her the cancer treatment appears to have made her cancer stable - our new gold standard - living with cancer rather than dying from cancer - we will take that.
Thanks for posting on here though - together we in the community not only help each other but actually many will see these messages and think that is just like me and so we end up helping others too.
<<hugs>>
Steve
