Told that dad only has days to short weeks left

So sorry about what you're going through x I lost my mum last October she like your dad was in the hospice and went down  hill really weekly. All I can say is you somehow do get through it it hurts like he'll but you get the strength from somewhere. My dad was very similar he didn't really cry until mum had passed. Try and make time for you a walk a bath sometime you can scream cry. I'm struggling with the loose of mum I do have good days. Wishing you the best I know exactly how your feeling. Also I found ringing Macmillan helped me talking it through with someone who doesn't know me. You're not alone x

I’m so sorry your going through this. I’m in the same boat as you, but my dad has been allowed home, it’s looking like he will be going back in today though as he’s had more trouble. 

m just reaching out to say your not alone x

Thank you for your reply Em28.

I'm sorry to hear that you lost your mum recently. This disease is so cruel taking our loved ones from us.

We've been visiting my dad every day but he seeme to be getting more confuse which is not only so sad to witness, but is worrying as the doctors said if he shows daily changes, then it means that he has less time left.

I cant believe that just a couple of weeks ago he was able to walk around a bit and I was playing games with him. I feel like I'm in some sort of limbo at the moment as I know he is going to get worse, but we dont know how much time he has and its heart breaking. I thought we would have had more warning of him gradually going downhill and not this rapid decline.

Thank you so much for reaching out to me. It does provide some comfort to know there are others out there who have gone through it and survived. Xx

Hi Crobin28,

Thank you so much for your message. Sorry to hear that your dad is having to go back into a hospice today.

Is the hospice that he is going to strict with the visiting times? My dad's one says only 2 hours a day which is hardly any time at all. We stay until we are kicked out though, and they usually lick usbout after 3 or 4 hours. I feel guilty as I feel I should be with him all the time, but I cant as they dont allow it.

It is a comfort knowing that they get well looked after though. The staff are so lovely there.

Is your dad suffering with confusion? My dad is and it's so heartbreaking. I felt I was feeling frustrated with him being confused yesterday which I feel bad about, but I think it's just I'm so worried that he is getting worse each day and I dont want him to be confused.

Wishing your dad all the best. Xx

My mum was on alot of drugs towards the end and drifted in and of sleep. Sometimes she made sense over days she wouldn't.  I couldn't take time off work due to financially implications (no sick pay) I still fill guilty I didn't do enough or see her enough. My mum used to say very random things she knew she was dying because she used to see friends in her sleep that had passed away and said they were in the waiting room waiting for her. The last time I saw my mum she was very confused and she asked me to tidy her room it was untidy and she wanted things in a certain place. She told me she had had enough and wanted to go her last words were love you jelly tots to myself and my daughter, she died the following evening. They have good moments that we may not see I had visits were my mum slept and the whole time I was there but a new when the new night staff came on shift she woke up and had a full conversation for 5 minutes. I know how hard it is but all you can do is live day to day. Enjoy the special moments and look after yourself xxxx 

• My mum was meant to go home from the hospice for a while so we had the house made ready but she went down hill so quickly. She was meant to come home on the Monday and Sunday evening we called to the hospice to say she won't be leaving she was put on stronger medication. I understand what you say about limo land its not a nice place to be. I thought we had more time to make memories at home but sadly not. My mum was also confused but towards the end she was not in pain and she wanted to dye. When she told me this it broke my heart but she was done fighting. I totally understand how you feel my world has been smashed apart but hopefully slowly I will put it back together. Just remember you are not alone xxxx try and look after yourself aswell xxx

Lucky for us he has managed to stay out of it today but he just keeps falling asleep constantly. He can get bouts of confusion. He told my mom to go home the other day but they were at home.

we had open visiting 9-9 but that was only for mom, I think me and my brother could do anytime from 9-9 but for 2-3 hours maximum. It helped as we could plan the day but also why should our last few weeks/days be timed.

hoping you get some comfort soon x 

Thank you x