Hi, I am writing this with a lot of guilt and a feeling of selfishness on my behalf.
My mum aged 78 was diagnosed with stage 2 bowel cancer 3 yrs ago, treatment was 5 and chemo, got through the op fine, chemo was hard with nausea and neuropathy, but got through it and now seems to be all clear, I am only daughter and was with her every step of the way and so proud of her getting through it. However, last scan has shown a 13mm lesion in her breast and she will be going for further test next week. It obviously has brought back a lot of emotions for her and she is extremely anxious and is now saying she has had enough. I just not sure what I can say or do, if I’m honest I don’t know how I’m coping with it, I work full time and I did struggle last time juggling things but managed to get through it, I feel so selfish thinking about myself, when I should be giving 100% toy mum. Anyone going through similar situation.
thank you
Hi Caz welcome to the forum and I am sorry to hear about what is happening for you.
You have been here before and you know how stressful that is/was and not just for your mum but for you as well.
It is little wonder that your mum is feeling fed up having had Cancer once, she knows what could be ahead of her, and despite what she is saying, she will get through this if required, yet again.
You are not in the least bit selfish thinking about you at all so please put that thought right out of your mind, you need to be well and in a good place both physically and mentally to enable you to do what you do for your mum. There is no rule book that says that you have to give 100%, but I totally understand why you do want to, but you can only give what you can without making you unwell and causing issues in your own life.
Can you get Carers leave from your job when it is needed or get some reduced hours for a period of time its worth asking? You may also like to get in touch if you have one locally a Carers Service that can offer support for you. Or you could give the Macmillan Line a call and they can offer support and advice re the work situation and also put you in touch with services locally that can offer support for you and please dont be afraid to access it as that will help you to help your mum. 08088080000.
Sending some huge big hugs your way for now.x
gail
