Aahhh

Hi Catsnotcarol, I'm new to this group. Found out this week that my Husband and basically whole life has been diagnosed with unoperable stomach/liver cancer. Just feel numb at the moment and really not sure how to coe with it all. So I know our situations are a bit different know how you're feeling. I'm glad I found thos group to chat to people who know what it's like. 

One step in front of the other and it’s ok to not be ok are my mantras for the time being. Be kind to yourself 

I'm so sorry.  I'm there - my husband, best friend, love of my life has stage 3 cancer.  It's so hard, and I just want to either rage or weep or both all the time.  I don't have any great solutions - I'm only just beginning to deal with the fact that I need some help here, too.  I think 'keeping positive' might be a lot to ask of yourself right now.  Maybe settle for 'keeping as functional as possible', and try not to let your thoughts spiral.  Hugs if wanted.

Hi Catsnotcarol

welcome to the group. So sorry to hear about all that you are going through. I wish I had a magic wand to give you, me and everyone else here the answers but sadly I don't.

My husband was given a terminal diagnosis in Sept 2020 (grade 4 brain tumour). The world imploded the day he told me they'd found something. Within 3 shorts weeks, the world had changed forever. He'd had the diagnosis, had a seizure 2 days before surgery that changed things forever (bleed on the brain) then surgery to debulk the tumour. The man I knew and have been with for over 33 years became a different person. I really struggled to see any positives at that time.

In the 17 months since I have learned to take life on day at a time, one step at a time and on the really tough days, one hour at a time. I have a wonderful friend who has been my rock throughout who keeps telling me "it'll pass" when I start to fret that I can't cope. And you know what, so far they've been right. 

All the emotions you are feeling are natural. It's the most resilient of people who let those emotions show. it means we're not bottling things up but having a rant or a cry and setting it free. Personally I journal a lot. It helps me to get things into perspective in my mind if I see it written down. Once the words are on the page it somehow doesn't feel as scary. Give it a try.

This group has been a great source of support too. Everyone around here gets its and its a safe place to release those feelings, fears and emotions. There's always someone around to listen, offer some words of wisdom and a virtual hug when its needed.

It’s always good to talk so  remember you can also call  Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.

For now, I'm sending you a huge virtual hug. Stay positive. Stay strong. You're coping so much better than you give yourself credit for.

love n hugs

Wee Me xx