Looking for open & honest advice
my mum has recently been diagnosed with stage 4 bone & lung. I’m really struggling with the following
1. ‘Painting the happy face’ - to her, my dad & family. Pretending it will all be ok when deep down I’m petrified. Constantly fighting the night less sleeps of the big ‘what if. What happens when’
2. medication- I’m trying my best to handle her medication as my dad doesn’t understand it neither does mum (both in 60’s - not old but a lot to take in) although I’m not a professional by many means and palliative care have only been out twice (understandably with time of year & ever changing covid restrictions)
I always try to be a ‘positive person’ in general but this has taken the life out of me. I need to be the strongest I can for my family. Please any help or advice for anyone who has experienced similar to tell me I’m not a mad woman on my own (lol) it’s normal & you too have felt this way. It will be massively appreciated.
Hi MissT2021
Welcome to our community though sorry to hear about your mum. Given your situation you sound so absolutely normal and just about everyone on here will recognize just what you say.
For me what worked best for the "what if''s" was a living with less stress course - it helped me to realise I could easily imagine things much worse than what actually happens. The breathing exercises were also good for the unexpected - there is always the unexpected.
If we look at Supporting a family member with cancer we see how normal these emotions are - I just wish that saying "I need to be strong" was as easy to do as to say - because I certainly do not always manage but I know that tomorrow will be another day.
<<hugs>>
Steve
