So my partners dad has been diagnosed with prostate cancer and she was open enough to tell me after saying she didn’t want to waste my time and didn’t see us going any further. I asked if everything was ok at home as was only after she went to see her mum and dad this radical change and in her defence she opened up. She informed me it was bad news but good news as he just needs an operation however I didn’t want to press any further as it’s a lot to take in.
I have tried to support her as much as possible however the news of her dad has also hit my hard and I have struggled to accept it so can’t imagine what her and her family are going through. I’m just wondering in what way I can support her as I have told her I’m here for her and she has told me there is nothing to worry about - however I feel that’s just a bit of a defence mechanism - as not sure how nobody would worry with that. Also reading into everything it’s a long procedure however I have informed her I’m not going anywhere and will always be there for her and by her side.
Been getting the cold shoulder and no communication apart from the other day when I popped over to drop off a Christmas present for her and I saw a broken woman and it ripped me apart however I couldn’t cry as wanted to support her. Just wondering what would be the best thing to do and how I could help her be it cooking or shopping however we do not live together.
I know she’ll be fine for Christmas as spending it as a family but after that just wondering what is best. Also thank you in advance for any replies and sorry for the long message.
Hi Seanp
Any diagnosis of cancer is often very intense and it can take some time to work out our emotions let alone those of others around us, it might help you to look at Your feelings when someone has cancer as you can see how common these emotions are.
Sorry I cannot really give any advice on your relationship though I can understand how it must feel. I respect that you told her you would be there for her because it can be a difficult finding someone to share with.
<<hugs>>
Steve
Hi @seanp - sorry if you felt my response made it seem I thought you might be selfish, from what you say you seem anything but. However that does not really help you in your current situation. That sort of position I can really relate to - the wanting to help but not knowing how and not knowing if what you try will he accepted by the person you care for.
One of the issues with anything on here is we lose the "emotion", the body language and all the rest that you seem to pick up on in your first message. I wonder if it might help you to talk to someone in person. Perhaps use our in your area tool to find support groups near you.
<<hugs>>
Steve
