I'll try to keep this short. Firstly, I have very little contact with my sister and we rarely communicate for reasons too involved and lengthy to go into, however I believe she has ovarian cancer.
My reason for this is because she has a massive cyst that has been getting drained every 3 months with around 10 or more litres being removed each time. Recently, her daughter and I have seen letters from oncology specialists where they say they strongly suspect stage 3b cancer. The letter stated that a CT scan will be arranged to see if it has gone to stage 4, but we know she has not attended any of the appointments. The initial letter we found (opened and not hidden) was dated Feb this year.
Over the last 10 months her weight has plummeted, she has a dreadful grey palour with dark circles around her eyes, and her hair is becoming very thin. She is adamant that it is not cancer even though her daughter asked her outright, and we are not going to force her to admit it is.
My question is, what do should we expect with regards to her wellbeing? No-one will tell us anything. I wrote to her GP to provide mine and my nieces telephone number in case they felt they needed to advise a family member, but got no reply.
i don't believe she is in pain, and although we rarely speak, when we have done over the last few weeks, she still has normal conversations and outwardly, doesn't appear to be anything other than her typical self.
Has anyone experienced this with someone in complete denial and if so, what do we do? Will her daughter or I ever be contacted, or is everything so private nowadays, we won't even know if she has to be admitted to a hospice? There is no way she would discuss this with anyone. She lives alone and rarely ventures out, other than maybe a fortnightly visit to buy groceries.
We don't get along as I said, but if as I suspect she does have cancer, I suppose if I knew what to expect, I might be able to be of some help.
Hello Cats Blanket
It seems that you are in a difficult situation with regards to your Sister, especially if she is in denial about a possible cancer.
Have you considered calling Macmillan? They may be able to give you some advice, but from my perspective, I believe that if your Sister has capacity, then there is little that can be done, unless she is in pain. But maybe, finding a way to speak with her, to let her know that you and her daughter are concerned for her, regardless of what went on in the past, may be a way in?
THIS area of the website may also offer you insight, or areas of conversation that could be broached with your Sister?
I do wish you luck with this, only one other option that comes to mind is to raise a safeguarding report with her local council, this can be done with the concern that she is not taking care of herself and is deteriorating because of this.. I am not sure if this is the steps you want to take, but it is all I can think of at this time.
Lowe'
