Hi
my sister in law has been diagnosed with cancer in her colon that has spread to her liver. They cannot operate and she is starting chemo today to help with symptoms. They do not know how she will react to the chemo so cannot give us an idea of how long we have with her. If she has no treatment it is likely to be a matter of weeks. She is only 29 and was pregnant when this all started. Baby was delivered by caesarean at 31 weeks and is doing well. We are a close family and my husband is in pieces. I don't know how best to support him, her and the family. it all seems so unfair she is so young and with a new baby and a 9 year old daughter
Anything I try and say to my husband is wrong I know he is trying to deal with what is happening and also as he is the oldest of 5 siblings trying to be strong for his sisters and his parents.
has anyone been through something similar and could give some advice.
Hi Frenchie1
Sorry to hear about your sister in law and having found the cancer while she was pregnant clearly made things more complex.
You are right too that it can feel like anything you could say is wrong but often that can be because your husband is still trying to work out his own emotions. One of the old sayings on here was if you do not know what to say give a hug. Sometimes the gentlest of touches on the arm can be the strongest bond of all.
There is a guide here on talking about cancer that incudes a section on talking to children. With the 9 year old it can be really helpful to talk to their school too, they often can put support in place.
Chemotherapy can be tricky, for my wife we were told chemotherapy was not often effective against her form of cancer - well 6 years down the line she is now facing being discharged as it would appear her cancer has been firmly and effectively sent to sleep.
<<hugs>>
Steve
