Hello,
I'm new to this forum. Last week my Mum was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer, she hasn't yet had biopsies but they say the CT scan shows she has a large mass and that the cancer has spread to her lymph nodes and liver. They say her initial prognosis is that she has months to live. Her doctors say they can't discuss treatment options until she's had the biopsies, but advise that it is probably too advanced stage / she is too weak for treatment, so palliative care may be the only option. At the moment, she is in hospital in a lot of pain and too weak to stand on her own, she struggles to even sit up as it's too painful and struggles to eat. It has all just come as such a shock as my Mum appeared healthy when I saw her a few months ago. I speak to her on the phone regularly and her only complaint had been arm/shoulder pain but her GP had referred her for physio, I had no idea it could be a symptom of lung cancer. And then she got really ill over a matter of weeks.
I live several hours away from my parents' home and I'm struggling to know what to do. We're not allowed to visit my Mum in hospital because of Covid-19 restrictions, which is really upsetting. I'm visiting my Dad at the moment to offer support but I'm struggling to cope myself, I can't sleep at night as I can't stop thinking about my Mum and worrying. I cry regularly throughout the day so I'm struggling to work (I've been trying to work remotely on my laptop, but have regular client videocalls). I want to stay longer, but my Dad has a small house and there is no proper space for me to work, so I'm not able to stay, which I feel guilty about. On a practical level, my Mum was essentially a carer for my Dad who has a lot of health problems himself, and I now think my Dad needs a cleaner and maybe a carer himself and I don't know how to bring this up or how to organise these things. I'm struggling to know what to do on a day to day basis and just wondered if anyone has any advice or coping techniques.
