Feeling alone

3 replies
19 subscribers
925 views

My husband was diagnosed with lymphoma mid September and is just about to have his third round of chemo on Friday. Due to previously having covid although he no longer has symptoms and the hospital asking him to do PCR tests each time even though they say you shouldn't retest for 90 days he is being admitted to hospital to have treatment. Which although frustrating I understand.

I feel like I'm being selfish but I'm really struggling and feel very alone, I have two primary aged children who have started really acting out which is obviously their way if dealing with it but I find it so hard. I feel like I'm alone, everyone is being kind and asking how my husband is no one asks how I am coping.

His mum in particular keeps telling me it has to be all about him and I can't break down and I need to be strong. But I'm only human I feel lost and scared and I feel like I have no one to talk to. I find myself going to have a cry in secret.

My husband has now started to snap at me and I know it's only cause his in pain and tired but it hurts.

Am I being selfish? Should I just deal with it?

Jpsclouds over 3 years ago

Only have a minute now but just wanted to drop in and offer you a hug x No you are not selfish, as you say we're only human. I am sorry to hear about your husband's lymphoma, and hope his treatment is successful. Much love to you and don't feel bad for breaking down, nothing about this is easy for any of us and we're all entitled to a good cry now and again. x

Dru over 3 years ago in reply to Jpsclouds

Thank you for your lovely message, I'll try not to be so hard on myself x

FormerMember over 3 years ago

Hello, I want to cry reading your post as I know where you are coming from. Cancer affects everyone in the family, not just the patient and its so difficult when you are trying to keep it together. You maybe are feeling that you are being selfish for wanting to react, but it's not you going through it, so what have you got to be reacting to? And then there is anger, guilt, all the other emotions. You maybe want to take a day, a weekend, a week, longer off, just to run away and deal with things by yourself. But you can't because you need to be the strong one, yet you don't feel strong at all.

I'm not quite at the stage yet where I can give you practical advice, but I wanted to say I hear you and I understand how you are feeling. My mum has cancer and it's so difficult, especially when all I want to do is cry/shout/run away, but life keeps telling us to be strong and take time for yourself, but that's very difficult to do, especially when you have the kids to think about too.

Sending hugs to you. You aren't alone xx

More from this forum

Feeling alone