Struggling with moms diagnosis

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Hiya, 

this is my first time here and I am looking for some support for myself and my mom who is newly diagnosed with lung cancer. Everything has happened so quickly and I am just not sure how I feel right now. I am 27 and extremely close to my mom.. we are now at the stage of looking at treatments and surgery has been ruled out due to her copd and also chemo as they have said she is not strong enough due to ill health alongside the cancer. 
what is immunotherapy and will it make my mom better? We have received minimal support so far and I have so many unanswered questions and no where to turn

Please could someone speak to me about their similar experiences and how I can cope with accepting that this may be the end. 

  • Hi and welcome to our community though so sorry to hear about your mom.

    For details on immunotherapy and lung cancer you can see here, of course if it would make your mum better is something of an unknown but if the doctors offer it then the is some chance.

    If actually speaking to someone might help you could ring our helpline 0808 808 0000 - if is open 7 days a week from 8am to 8pm and can certainly help to discuss what your future might hold and how to make the best of where you are now.

    <<hugs>>

    Steve

    Community Champion Badge

  • Hi  :) I am really grateful to have come across you being so honest about your mum as I have often spent evenings scrolling through online community not knowing how to make that first step to post. I have just turned 30 and my mum is receiving treatment for lung cancer. My mum has had a range of different cancers since 2016 and as an only child I have been on the emotional rollercoaster of highs and lows. Similar to you, my mum is unable to have further surgery but so far the treatment my mum is having is allowing her to live as normal as possible. Be kind to yourself.. it’s really tough watching someone you’re so close to go through something like this. I have days where I’m angry and upset that this is happening. But on the other hand it makes me so much more grateful to share current experiences and memories with her. One thing I learnt is to try and not think too far ahead about what may or may not happen.. it ruins the here and now. It took me a while to think this way and I can’t say I 100% stick to it.. but take each day as it comes. You’re not alone :) 

  • Hiya lovely, 

    it’s bloody awful… 

    unfortunately at our last appointment they have said my mom has less than 6 months left now. No treatment at all can be offered. I am thinking and doing exactly the same as you.. we have been taking lots of pics and videos and my mom has been writing letters and doing video messages for birthdays, my graduation etc so I am feeling lucky in that way as others won’t have that opportunity. Obviously we are all devastated but what can you do.. like you I have really really low days where I can’t get it off my mind but others I just go about like a normal day with her and think nothing of it for now, you can’t let it take control.
    Thankyou for your lovely response hope you and your mom are okay, love to you both xx 

  • I’m so sorry to hear that.. sending a virtual hug to you and your family! Disappointed

    Try not to focus on the timescale (easier said than done I know!) and do exactly what you’re doing as it sounds so supportive and positive! It’s so hard to keep it together for your mum.. often I’d be laughing and joking with her and then later that evening when I go back home something triggers me into floods of tears! 

    Another thing I remember learning from others is to not compare your situation.. everyone’s pain is so relevant to them. Yes others may not have this opportunity to create some memories with their mum but that doesn’t make your experience right now any less painful! 

    Wishing you all the best.. you’re really strong and brave for coming on here to tell your story! X