My lovely Dad was diagnosed with lung cancer and metastatic brain cancer a couple of weeks ago, it came as a huge shock as prior to a few weeks ago he was doing well for his age, then after a very rapid decline he was admitted to hospital where they found the cancer and it seems like he only has a few months to live now.
The diagnosis and prognosis are difficult enough to deal with, i feel like my entire life has been turned upside down but worse than that is having to watch the changes in him, not even the physical ones but the mental ones...he is so confused and gets so agitated/angry/argumentative (which is completely unlike my Dad, a quiet, calm, loving man who barely ever raised his voice) yesterday he was shouting and swearing at a nurse (he is now in a nursing home) ...I have never heard him swear before, ever!
I know it is the cancer in his brain causing these changes and have to face the fact that it will only get worse but I'm finding it so distressing and so hard to deal with, anyone else going through the same thing, any advice on how to cope?
Hi Daktari
a warm welcome to the online community. So sorry to hear about what your dad's going through. It's so hard on everyone involved.
I can empathise to a point with the personality change and you could well be right that it's the brain cancer causing it but it could also be his medication so my first suggestion would be talk to his medical team.
My husband (now 52) was diagnosed with a grade 4 brain tumour in Sept 2020 and following surgery to debulk it, he's never been the same person. It's hard to see the strong person you know and love change almost overnight.
Something I did notice though, and it may just be coincidence, but his moods were more aggressive while he was taking steroids, hence my suggestion about talking to your dad's team about his medication.
As for how to cope with it - I don't have any magic answers to that. I take each day as it comes and some are easier than others. Please ensure though that you still take time for yourself. Taking the "me time" is essential even if its just 10 minutes to got for a walk or to read a book.
This community has also been a great source of support to me over the months. Friends and family are great but unless they've been through this journey they don't always "get it". On here, we all sadly get it. There's always someone around to listen and offer that virtual hug.
It’s always good to talk so please remember that you can call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
I hope this has been of some help.
Sending you a huge virtual hug. Stay strong.
love n hugs
Wee Me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
