Struggling to manage worrying with my mum

Hi Blathemag I have two sons who were about your age when I told them I had breast cancer.  I was so worried about how they would feel and how it would affect them and your post has really resonated with me. 

I think when something like this happens it creates a kind of post traumatic stress.  We go from thinking something like this will never happen to us or our loved ones to suddenly thinking that we got bad news once and so we might get more bad news and we start imagining worse case scenarios.  I'm glad you are getting counselling as I think that's probably the best thing you can do 

The important thing to remember is that breast cancer is very treatable these days with very high success rates with many people living long and cancer free lives.  

Each time you get worried remind yourself that your mother's cancer was caught early, it hadn't spread and that her treatment is curative.  None of us (whether we have cancer or not) know what the future holds so try to focus on what you do know.

I hope you have a great Christmas with your mother x

I’m in a somewhat similar situation. My mum got diagnosed with endometrial cancer in August and is recovering from a hysteroectomy currently. It was decided at her follow-up that she will need chemo (possibly radiotherapy) as an additional treatment to make sure the cancer is all gone. I was with her for the appointment but have since come back to where I live and work (about an hour or so drive away). I’m also the same in worrying about the worst case scenario and feel pretty helpless being away, almost selfish that I’m sort of living my life ok while she’s at home. I worry about her physical and mental health once she starts this next part of the process, and especially because I won’t be with her every day. It’s good you’ve been getting some counselling and that this has been helping, this might be something I need to look into too. Hope you’re managing ok and I’m sure your mum will appreciate all the support you’re giving, even if you’re away x