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I am new to this group. I recently found out my MIL has cancer including secondaries in the lungs and liver. We still do not have all the facts to hand and so my husband and I still feel quite in the dark about what is going to happen. We know that the cancer is inoperable due to the primary being on the sternum. We know they can treat it. We do not know how long my MIL has. This is a recurrence of cancer that she had 15 years ago.

We have been worrying for weeks and it seems to have taken so long to find things out. We are uncertain how long the cancer has been back as my MIL had a rash in the area that she thought was of no concern and so did nothing until it began to change. My husband has been through this before in terms of his mother being ill and having treatment. I am worried about how I will support him and his father and what to expect. I think not knowing more facts about what type of cancer it is and how long she might have is really worrying us.

Any thoughts welcome

src60 over 3 years ago

Hi Aikaterine

A warm welcome to our community though sorry to hear about your mother in law.

From what you say - does your MIL know what cancer she had 15 years ago? It does sound good that the cancer is treatable. It is also not uncommon that following treatment some people believe cancer is behind them while some see cancer everywhere.

When my wife was diagnosed she never wanted to know the how long question and I struggled with that. is worth thinking though that nobody knows for sure - a prognosis is at best an educated guess - and nobody would have guessed my wife would have pulled through like she has.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Aikaterine over 3 years ago in reply to src60

Hi Steve

Thank you for your reply :)

She had breast cancer that recurred again as the first op failed to remove all the necessary tissue.

We know that treatment is not going to cure her because they have told her that. Treatment is to slow the cancer down. She has an appointment for next week with the oncologist. She is not allowed anyone with her because of the virus. We are worried on two counts, that we cannot be there to support her when they tell her everything and that she may not take everything in and pass it onto us properly. I explained to her recently that us knowing the facts stops us asking her questions, allows us to do our own research and helps us support her and prepare ourselves for what is ahead.

I totally get that prognosis is an educated case but ultimately she is going to die sooner than she would have without this terrible disease and we all need to prepare for what she will go through on the way.

Kat

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