My dad has been diagnosed with kidney cancer, diagnosis has take 7 months and now the prognosis is not good, 4-12 months.
I am very close with my dad, I live and work 3 hours away from where he lives. I try to get home every two weeks but it is difficult with work and my family which includes my son who is 11.
I feel sad and get upset every time someone asks me how my dad is doing? I feel guilty because I can’t see him as much as I would like, I can’t sleep which is taking it’s toll and I can’t bring myself to tell my son how bad things really are and for that I feel terrible. If I can’t get my head round it how can I try and explain it to him?
Any advice on how I bring myself to be able to cope with this would be great as right now I just can’t see a way of doing it. I bury myself into work to try to forget but I know I am not dealing with it properly.
Any advice would be great. Thanks in advance.
Hi
So sorry to hear about your dad and I can really relate to the idea of feeling that sense of normality in the workplace. I can relate to about how tricky it can be dealing with questions around your dad especially given what you have said above.
My wife never wanted a prognosis and I struggled with that initially, with her kind of cancer though a prognosis would be something of a wild guess and I do not think anyone might have predicted we would still be here 6 years later. I was lucky enough to get a place on a living with less stress course that really helped me.
For you and your son it might help you to look at our guide to talking to children and my personal tip would be to get their teacher in on the loop since it really does help if everyone is on the same page.
Lack of sleep rapidly becomes a problem in its own right, it may help to talk to your GP about how you feel to make sure you are in the best shape to support your son and your dad.
<<hugs>>
Steve
