24 and afraid for my mum.

Hi and a warm welcome to the Online Community. I'm so sorry to read what you're having to cope with and at such a young age. Joining these forums will give you support and help you deal with this scary cancer journey. You're not selfish in feeling this way, you're just overwhelmed with what life has thrown at you. Once a treatment plan has been sorted out for your Mum you'll feel a little less scared, it's fear of the unknown that is so exhausting.

I'm going to suggest you join our Oesophageal cancer where you'll be able to chat with other members either having or supporting someone with the same type of cancer. Just click on the link I've created and copy this post to introduce yourself. I'm also tagging the Champ of the group, Lowedal to drop by and say hello.

It’s always helpful to others if you write a little something (or a lot) about yourself and your Mum's journey to date. You can enter it into your profile (click on your username and select “Profile”) It’s helpful to other members with a similar diagnosis who can then hopefully answer your questions. It also means that you don't have to keep writing the same thing over and over. You can amend or update it at any time. 

To find more information covering diagnosis and treatments there are pages covering most types of cancers which can be found on our Online Information and Support Section. 

Macmillan Support Services also offer lots of information, support, financial guidance or just someone to listen. It’s free to call 0808 808 0000. Most services are available 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week. Have a look by Clicking here to see what is available and we also have our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two to three working days for replies from our expert team.

Sending you welcoming hugs B xx

Hello,

Thank you so much for welcoming me, and for your advice and support. It means a lot. 

All the best,

Hannah xx

Hi , I’m sorry to hear about your mum. I understand how hard it is and how worried you are. Have you had anymore results from the hospital? Sometimes the waiting for results can feel like forever!

I turn 24 in a couple of months time and like you, I graduated last year. As soon as I graduated my dad (who is 60) was diagnosed with advanced terminal prostate cancer which has spread through his bones. My mum cares for him but I visit and help as much as I can.

I feel isolated from my friends as well, as although they’re great and always check in with me, they don’t quite “get it”. I worry about both my parents a lot as well whilst also juggling work and life in general.

I have only just joined this forum but I am hoping to find other people of a similar age to me going through something similar who I can talk to openly.

Best wishes xx

Hello Jane,

I can't tell you how reassuring and helpful it is to hear from you - thank you so much for getting in touch. I've joined for the same reasons as yourself, to find someone my age and beyond to relate to in all this. I'm relieved that I'm not alone, and send love and best wishes to you and your family at this difficult time. 

Thank you so much for asking about my mum. It'll be a month since mum's diagnosis on Wednesday and the waiting has been horrendous. It's been hard to focus on anything. She was taken into hospital last week as she was so weak from not being able to swallow anything. She is still on liquid food, but on a feeding tube which should strengthen her for her PET scan tomorrow - they are taking her over for that direct from her hospital bed. Then, fingers crossed, we should have a prognosis by the end of this week. 

How is your dad doing at the moment? 

I completely get you with the friends thing. A lot of my friends aren't sure what to say either - I've found those working in medical scenarios / those with personal experiences of cancer have been the most understanding. It's great that your friends are checking in though because it makes a huge difference nonetheless. 

Can also empathise with work, life, and trying to manage it all at once. Have you told your work about what is happening? I've told mine and they've been pretty understanding about it, thank goodness! 

Always here if you need a chat xx

Hi Hannah, thank you for your lovely message. You must be so worried about your mum. Are you able to visit her in the hospital? I know some hospitals allow visits now but some still don’t which is frustrating. Waiting for results is awful isn’t it, made worse by feeling so helpless.

My dad has had a difficult few weeks. He has tried a lot of different treatments over the last year, with chemotherapy being the most recent one however he is now too weak so the doctors have stopped it. The cancer is spreading very quickly now that all treatments have stopped so he is getting weaker and cannot walk unaided anymore. He is in a lot of pain which we’re trying to get under control.

He’s brighter when he has visitors and phone calls from his family and friends. I moved out of my parents house about 4 months ago but I visit home as much as I can.

I have told work about my situation as well and they have also been understanding. I work from home so that I can spend more time with my dad as well as staying safe from any germs I could pass on to my dad.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you and your family that the PET scan goes as well as it can tomorrow.

Sending best wishes xx

My dad has the same cancer diagnosis earlier this year. The beginning is awful the waiting to know if it’s spread or not. Since all this he’s been through chemotherapy treatments an had radiation 5 days a week for 5 weeks also. He had a Ct scan on 1st october an we are awaiting the results of if the radiation has done anything. He’s barely eating anything very frail an weak.