My parents split up around 2 years ago but it’s only been the past year my dad has come to terms with it, the communication between my parents has become terrible and as a child I want both of them to be happy. I support my mum in her new relationship and was focusing on rebuilding a strong relationship with my dad. But since his diagnosis of bowel cancer (spread all over, 2months - 1 year to live) all my dad needs is his family. My mum wants to be there but since my dad has been told about my mums new boyfriend (before the diagnosis), my dad has a lot of resentment to my mum (completely understandable) however my mum is the only person in the world my dad can truely be con fort able around.
My dad has now blocked my mum on all forms of communication and his mental health is crashing. He doesn’t want his kids to see him weak and vulnerable but we are all he has now. He’s so weak and needs help getting out the bath but he’s pride won’t let his kids help me. I’m trying my best to keep his stress low and respect his wishes but I don’t know what to do anymore. He has a lot of resentment and doesn’t understand that sometimes people need to go recharge their own batteries I n order to truly be there for him. I’ve been working all weekend and he’s upset at me for not calling until today, truth be told I just needed some time alone to digest and collect more strength but I feel awful. My dad is more upset about my mum and her new partner than he is about the cancer. And I don’t know how to help him
Hi
You are so right in needing to charge our batteries to be the best in helping those we love and it can be totally devastating to see anyone whose mental health we feel is not what it might be. Mental health issues are incredibly difficult to deal with and often lead to some kind of spiral of despair.
It does sound like your dad might really benefit from a needs assessment as that might help to bring together the resources that he might need.
So glad you were able to share on here, if you feel it would help you remember you can ring our helpline too - 0808 808 0000 it is open 7 days a week from 8am to 8pm and I can personally recommend their service from times I have mostly cried at them in the past :-)
<<hugs>>
Steve
