My handsome, kind, funny and wonderful father was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer 17 years ago and was given 5 years to live. At the age now of 71, he is on his final journey. Could be a week or day, but my heart tells me it's shorter. He has been under the care of the most wonderful consultant and his drive and determination to beat this is what has kept him with us for so long.
Dad could build, fix and manage anything and to see him now so weak and failed breaks my heart.
Dad is now 24 hrs in his hospital bed in the house. A DNR is in place. There will be no more treatment, transfusions or interventions asides pain relief to keep him comfortable. My heart is breaking.
I have been staying at my parents now this last week since dad became bed ridden. I do shifts with my mum, or one of my brothers to get dad toileted and given his medication. But there are small but poignant signs that he is going to leave us soon. He has had two very clear interactions with his mum, telling us she has visited him. Did anyone else see their loved ones experience this? I actually witnessed one yesterday.
He is very weak and confused. He is losing his swallow and we know the platelets are now down below 20.
This time last year I ran a solo marathon to raise money for Friends of the Cancer Centre in Belfast. Dad cycled the whole 26.2 miles alongside me. He has been by my side through all my troubles ans turmoil, he is like a Dad to my 13 year old son. He's my hero.
I am so worried about my son. I was a single parent when he was born, so my parents looked after and helped to raise him while I worked. The bond he has with my Dad is second to none. They are so close.
So that is where we are for now. Another day of hoping and praying that dad's final journey is a peaceful one after so much pain in recent weeks. There is little pain now as it is being managed with strong pain relief. But I has told us he is ready to go and just "Wants off".
Caralyn x
