Hey. I don’t know what to feel. It’s as if there is two of me , a little me in side and the big me suppressing her. The little me wants to kick scream cry shout and loose control and the big me not letting her ,feel numb one min and the next acting as if nothing happened the next . Just feel like putting my running shoes on and running away to get this frustration out my inner self but wouldn’t get very far can’t bloody run lol . Is this normal will I start to feel . My poor wee mum she has just been diagnosed with lung cancer going for her pet scan today . She is wasting away and my dad has stage 4 COPD can’t loose them both . Takes me 3 hrs to get myself together in the morning keep staring into space wondering what the future will bring . My mum saved me so many times and now the time she needs saved I can’t do it. Is this normal
HI Weehotpie
welcome to the Online Community and so sorry to hear about your mum and your dad. It's cruel and it's heartbreaking but be rest assured all those emotions you're feeling are perfectly normal.
My husband was given a terminal diagnosis just over a year ago and like you I felt that I was torn into different versions of "me". I felt I needed to be strong to support him (wife me). I felt I had to be strong for my kids (mum me). I felt I had to hold it together at work (work me) but at the end of the day, the real me (Wee Me) was heartbroken inside and has never felt so useless. All I can say is that over time you get all those emotions and versions of yourself under control and it gets a bit easier.
Hard I know, but try to keep things in perspective til the doctors have presented all the facts and options. Ask all your questions so that you are comfortable that you know what's what. Perhaps write them down and take the notes with you if you accompany your mum to her appointments. There's also the Ask an Expert section, but do allow two to three working days for replies from our expert team.
A piece of advise I was given way back at the start of this rollercoaster ride was to take time for yourself. It sounds selfish I know but you need to . Even if its just a few minutes to walk or run round the block, or a few minutes reading a book or watching TV, take some time to recharge your batteries.
Please also be assured that you can reach out here anytime. Macmillan Support Services also offer lots of information, support, financial guidance or just someone to listen. It’s free to call 0808 808 0000. Most services are available 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week. Have a look by Clicking here to see what is available
Hang in there. Stay strong.
love n hugs
Wee Me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
