Partner diagnosed with throat and secondly lymph node cancer

Hi MadsD

Sorry to hear about your partner, we all recognize the shock of an initial cancer diagnosis, the wait for treatment to start, the "will it work" etc. The side effects list from chemo/radio is often quite frightening but you are right too that everyone reacts differently. My wife's first chemo was quite strong and helped to knock her cancer back but caused more problems than it solved - but they were fixable problems too - thank heavens for the NHS.

I did a living with less stress course with Maggie's, it helped me realise I was living in a dark future I could not control rather than appreciating what I had in the here and now. Breathing exercises were quite good at dealing with the unexpected but also quite useful for relaxation too - especially sometimes just getting a good nights sleep.

In terms of planning events for the future, I wonder if being optimistic might be good but perhaps have a ready fall back position so that things are not all or nothing. Sharing that with friends and family might help them feel more included too.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Hi Steve

Thank you so much for your reply. It really does help to know how other people cope. There is a real sense of being alone but I know this is something I have to get to grips with, and I will.  The "dark future you couldn't control" is so spot on to how I feel right now but I am planning not to be cut off from anyone, although I do worry if people will want to get involved, or visit. I think I'm worrying for everyone at the moment!. I had not had a good nights sleep for sometime, but it did help a lot to know the details of what to expect.

Thank you again for your message, it was extremely helpful.

MadsD