My mum was diagnosed with lung cancer which spread to her lymph nodes, its not curable and is having chemo to keep it stable and not spread but I know one day, the chemo will stop working or her body will not be able to tolerate it anymore and it will spread.
I can't imagine a world without her and she's only in her 50's so has so much left to live. I'm trying to live in the moment and enjoy all our times together but in the back of my head I know one day she's going to deteriorate and I'm going to have to watch her become so unwell and eventually pass away and I cant deal with that. I will end up being her primary carer when that does happen.
I've come to realise recently that subconsciously I'm avoiding seeing her, because every time after I see her I get upset so I think my brain is trying to protect me. It's such a constant battle and just want to know that I'm not alone in feeling this.
Hi Daisy30
No, you are not alone in feeling like this.
I am really sorry to hear that Mum has been diagnosed with a more advanced lung cancer.
I can remember when my own Mum had a diagnosis- this was a few years back now- and she was also young. It was tough to watch the changes in her as her health deteriorated and I do think that sometimes it can feel like your head is trying to protect you but your heart needs to be there- if that makes sense.
We do have a forum on here that may be of help. It is specifically there where someone is supporting someone with a cancer that is incurable. I will pop a link in case it is of interest.
Supporting someone with incurable cancer forum | Macmillan Online Community
It sounds like that although Mum's cancer is ultimately incurable, that it is still treatable and I hope that the chemo gives you both sometime to do the things that are important to you.
There is no right or wrong way to feel at times like this and if talking things through would help, please do give the Support Line a call. They can also have a look to see if there is any local support where you live. It is important to have support for your self as it can be really tough when someone you love is going through cancer.
We are here when you need us.
Jane
