Hi I’m Debbie
My mum has recently been diagnosed with multiple myeloma in her groin. They’ve found the plasma levels in her blood are too high and they’re treating this quickly as she has a link in her blood that can effect her kidneys. She also has fractures in the groin which have left her unable to walk.
I am disabled myself and a full-time wheelchair user, and I am struggling to cope with not only my mums diagnosis; but I also live 300 miles away from her. It’s hard knowing I am unable to help her other than emotional support through the phone.
I was wondering if there are others who are in a similar position to me, how have you handled things? Are there any coping mechanism you can suggest to help me with my feelings of guilt and feelings of inadequacy.
xxx
Hi ,
So sorry to hear about your mum. When my mum was ill for 6 months in Cambridge and I was in Oxford with wife and newborn son things were a challenge especially as my dad was all "you need to look after your family" and it felt he was not always as open as I might like.
Sometime it can help to focus on what we can do rather than the things we cannot. The emotional support on the phone can be really helpful.
For me a turning point was when I did a living with less stress course. Learning to live in the here and now and appreciate what we have - some days are rotten but mostly we have more good days than bad. The breathing exercises were great when unexpected things hit us.
When my wife was having chemotherapy I found the unit at Oxford actually mostly fairly cheerful. Sometimes of course we have a wobble but I know there are people here who will sit beside me even if they cannot take away the pain they can help share the burden.
<<hugs>>
Steve
