Hi all,
Despite my Mum being diagnosed with multiple myeloma back in 2014, this is the first time I've sought out emotional support. I'm an only child, and I live 200 miles away from my parents. My mum is actually doing well, but she doesn't think so. She's not a very positive person, so always focusses on whatever negatives come out of discussions with her healthcare team. The main reason I'm needing some support though, is her complete change in character on steroid days. My Mum was always a very purposeful person, but since she retired and was then diagnosed a few years later, she has struggled a lot with her self worth. But on steroid days, she gets the classic "roid rage" and I hate how she speaks to my Dad. He is incredibly supportive, but not very good at talking about feelings, so clams up a bit. After the anger and tone, she then has days where she's so incredibly down, and then other days when she almost her normal self again.
I'm 33, but struggle with feeling guilty everyday for living my life away from them. I don't know what to do for the best. I try to go up to visit them as much as I can (difficult at the moment with Covid), but ultimately I'm always thinking "should I just move back home?" I have a partner and a life of my own, but my Mum is constantly suggesting I just "move back home". I'm so scared that I'm being selfish not being there full time to care for her and make sure my Dad is ok, particularly given there isn't anyone else (i.e. siblings) to do it.
Really just needed to get all that out and hope there's someone out there with similar experiences or just a listening ear!
Thanks x
Hi
If your dad is anything like mine he will be so happy you have a partner and a life of your own. I wonder if you talked to him about your concerns if a solution could be found that would make you happy that both your mum and dad are supported.
In normal times I would have suggested a needs assessment for your mum and a carers assessment for your dad. Certainly my mum and dad had carers call every day to make sure things were good while all my siblings - spread round the country were included in the care if not actually doing hands on.
<<hugs>>
Steve
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