That's my mum now in hospital we been told she won't be coming home my mum is 67 last year she had lung cancer last couple months she had very sore head she had scan on head doctor says she has fluid in brain but there's nothing they can do they can't drain it I feel lost when see my mum laying on hospital bed it's not mum I remember she doesn't even I'm sitting next to her do not want remember my mum like this but don't want her die alone just don't know
Hi @f1n ,
So sorry things do appear to be getting worse rather than better. I can relate to that from the point of view of my dad who had a whole series of seizures that robbed us of him bit by bit.
We had to take the decision at one point to put dad in to a care home and arrange supervised visits for my mum as when he hugged her he could easily break her bones (osteoporosis).
I missed my dad's passing by about 30 minutes, when I saw him he was still warm and just looked like he was calmly asleep, something we had not seen in about 6 years.
My mum died quietly in her sleep, the carer came in the morning. The next I saw of her was in the mortuary - the assistants had done their very best but she was cold and the most unlifelike I had ever seen.
It took me a while to put all this in place in my mind. There is no "right" answer when it comes to grief and lots of theories that try to put us in some kind of path. Often with cancer we talk to of pre-grief.
Further down the line I can think about all the great times I had with my parents more that I think about the end of their life. There funerals were a fantastic celebration of their achievements.
We went to one of my wife's aunties funerals recently. The celebrant said something that really resounded in me - grief is the price we must pay for love.
<<hugs>>
Steve
