Hi I have just joined the group as my Dad has recently been diagnosed and I feel completely overwhelmed and feel useless as don't know how to support him best. He has had his first round of chemo and is finding it extremely hard emotionally as well as physically. Any experiences/advice be great.
Thanks Kate
Hi and welcome to the community though so sorry to hear about your dad.
A cancer diagnosis comes as a shock to us all, often people describe it as a tsunami sweeping away everything in it's wake. Sometimes starting treatment can feel reassuring as something is happening but for others it is just the start of another round of doubt, uncertainty and that upcoming world of "what if's".
I spent some time on "what it's" and "what will I do when" and frankly did not help me and made me feel worse. Then I reached out for help, people who knew what it was like. I got a space on a living with less stress course and learnt some real lessons about what I needed to help me be the best support for my wife. Many things she is fantastic at and enjoys - helping her find that joy. There are a few things where she wants my help but often that is just talking and helping her decide what works. I always know when she is really ill though - if she wants to go to hospital.
Like many I think she had a sense of guilt in putting myself and my son through this, a sense of "why me" and "It is not fair" but it many ways it has helped to draw us together too. The only time I run away quickly is if someone tells her how brave she is - she hates that.
It might help to look at Looking after someone with cancer, especially the bits about around coping with being a carer and who can support me - a great first step of course is join the community - we understand.
<<hugs>>
Steve
