Hi. New to this experience and just looking for advise. My wife was diagnosed with stage 4 non hodgkin's lymphoma in September and has just finished chemo and high dose methotrexate treatment. Had her post treatment pet scan yesterday so now waiting for the outcome. During this time i have been juggling full time work (i'm a key worker) and trying to support my wife and children. This week i feel awful. I've been so focused on trying to juggle everything and keeping things as normal as possible over the last six months and now that the treatment has finished for now, i am aware of how much my mind and body have suffered. I've been scared to admit that i've been struggling as i didn't want people to worry about me when it's my wife that has gone through the treatment and pain. I feel awful and selfish. I really don't know where to turn now, i know my mental health has suffered and only seems to be getting worse both mentally and physically. Has anyone had the same problem? This is the first time i've talked about this anywhere or to anyone since my wife was diagnosed and to be honest i'm struggling to get my experience written in words. If anyone could offer some advice i would be extremely grateful!
Hi
Sorry to hear about your wife and 100% recognize just where you are - not least because I was in your shoes some years ago and did not even have covid to cope with.
It often happens that when someone feels like they are "doing" something they feel carried along just following the path laid in front of them. When we hit the end of treatment and then wait for the results - on here we commonly refer to that point as scanxiety.
Feeling awful and selfish is very common too, sometimes people also talk about being angry and say "why me/us?" - perhaps a more fashionable name might be PTSD.
It might feel odd but just by opening up here you will have helped people we will never know that never broke through the struggling to get my experience in words. Often the first step is realising that perhaps we need some help - after all we are not the one who is ill, the second step is finding help. I really like a couple of songs on this "He ain't heavy he is my brother" and "Lean on me" - from the latter of those "
