My step dad has recently been diagnosed with incurable cancer. As well as supporting him I need to support my Mum. It’s so mentally, physically and emotionally hard for us all. And to add to this, none of the procedures my step-dad has had have gone successful.
I’m really starting to struggle to stay positive and give support to my Mum and Step-Dad. I dread every phone call incase it’s bad news and it’s just getting harder every day.
Hi @beccajade11,
So sorry to hear about your step dad and I can really relate to how difficult it can be.
Looking at your message one thing that strikes me that I can really relate to is you feeling you are supporting everyone but then noting the impact on your all - sort of been there done that broke and finally decided I needed help.
First I walked in to my local Maggie's - cried out my story for over a hour and a full box of tissues and they helped me recognize I could not continue as I was and needed at least a break from work.
Later I managed to get on a course living with less stress - the best bit for me was the lesson on not living in a future I could not control and instead look at what we have got and appreciate every day, every hour, even every minute. Some days as still rubbish but I look at good days and think how grateful I am for every day - sometimes I say we woke up today that is a result. On here we sometimes talk of pre-grief how will we cope without our loved ones and that hurts and can rob our lives of any joy.
Another part of the course that really helped me was conscious breathing - for all my worrying about what might happen (that usually did not) there will be a whole list of things we never expected that can be overwhelming. With this I can decide to step back "take a deep breath" (or two) and then say - ok we will deal with this too.
Transcendental meditation though just makes me laugh - but then laughter is as we say the best medicine.
<<hugs>>
Steve
