My wife was diagnosed with non hodgkin's lymphoma in 2019 this was actually her second diagnosis in under 5 years. Thankfully after chemo and a autologous stem cell transplant she was given the all clear at the start of 2020. We thought we had gotten over it as a family and could now move on with our lives only to be told almost a year to the day she had relapsed. She has received chemo again and is currently in remission thankfully and waiting on a allogenic stem cell transplant.
The reason I want to come on here and talk is that I am a broken man from all this. We have been battling this for nearly two years straight now constant appointments loads of travelling middle of the night runs to A+E it's all really taken its toll. I feel guilty for talking to people about how I'm feeling as its my wife who is fighting cancer again but lately I just feel like I've lost my fight when we head into stressful situations. The constant wear of stress has beaten me down.
We still have such a long road ahead which includes the transplant, 12months recovery, miles of travelling and the constant worry about every pain my wife gets. I hope there is someone on here who has been through the same and can give me some hope and let me know I am not a bad person for feeling the way I feel.
Hi Husband11
You are very welcome here, I am so sorry to read that your Wife's cancer has returned, I know how stressful it can be on the other side, my husband has different cancer diagnosis, but you have already been through this before, where as I am relatively new to this journey.
HERE if you have not already located it, is the Non-Hodgkin lymphoma forum, some of the posts here are from people who are finding out for the first time that a partner / loved one has been diagnosed, others mention relapse or experience in one form or another, all have an understanding of how you feel.
Please do not feel guilty about how you feel, you are important too, and if others can help you understand that your responses to your experience are not wrong, or unusual, maybe you will feel more able to cope with the feelings and reduce the constant stress that has been beating down on you.
And HERE is the Carers only forum, where posters share how their experience of watching their loved one battle day in, day out.... the truth, no hold bared, no judgement.
I wish your Wife every success in beating this again, and send you both strength as you find your path through this journey.
Lowe'
