Struggling being so young and having to face losing my mum

Hi annnaemilyysorry to hear about your mum and the impact it has had on you.

I do not think you are being selfish at all and it might be helpful for you both to share Talking to children and teenagers because it is so easy to feel unsafe. 

People do have something of a habit of sharing bad news stories though so it is very possible that google sends us to things that may make things seem blacker that they might be in reality. We often have to reflect that a prognosis is just a guess based on averages and I have yet to meet that average person.

Well done for coming here though - we understand the effects of cancer, my wife having incurable cancer for the last 6 years now. You are always welcome to post on here and someone will be along to help but if you need an instant fix you can ring the helpline 0808 808 0000 it is open 8am to 8pm 7 days a week and i have certainly cried at them in the past.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Hi annnaemilyy, 

Im really sorry about your mums news and how that has made you feel. I can't imagine how this is affecting you and your everyday life. I wanted to say that I feel the same, unsafe and unsure of the future in light of someone we love is one of the worst feelings in the world. My mum has just recieved a diagnosis for a rare form of cancer and one of my main concerns is loss too, and one of the things that i have found has helped both me and my mum open up is just being honest and emotional to each other. I know sometimes it feels selfish and unfair to get upset in front of the person going through the motion but I think it allows your mum to see that you are just as scared and anxious as she is.

I actually spoke to my mum the other day about this after having a panic attack for the exact reason of being out of control and feeling uncertain of the future and I told her she could get upset in front of me and talk to me about it and she proceeded to tell me that protecting her children is her main responsibility and that she wants to keep us all safe from harm this may cause. I think its natural for your mum to brush it off and make light of the situation as if they don't remain positive what hope is there? your mum is probably the one holding your family together despite the things she is currently going through. 

My point being (sorry for blabbing) that maybe we need to look at our mums and reflect their attitude, we are looking to them for guidance constantly and in this situation they are looking to us. So my best bit of advice would be to be present, be positive and be open and honest with how you feel, if something upsets you get upset in front of your family, your mum who ever it is, because I can gaurentee if it is making you feel like that everyone else will feel the same too. 

Amy